04 May 2007

Once Upon a Potty (Girl and Boy versions)

Author/Illustrator: Alona Frankel

The determined Frankel is single-minded in her mission, which is to destigmatize the process of moving your bowels. Her book promotes the use of mature terminology to remove the aura of impurity surrounding bodily functions. While I agree in theory, I failed this test miserably. This may be a useful book for teaching your child to use the potty, but reading about her child having "a bottom for sitting and a little hole in it for making Poo Poo," still made me cringe. I guess I'm not evolved or mature enough yet... and you know what? I'm fine with that. I don't need poop to be mature... I'm content to have poop be immature, obscene, and dressed like Santa. That's your cue, Mr. Hankey!


Is this for real? An action figure?! And I thought Tickle Me Elmo was a "crappy" toy! Ba dum ching!

(I know, I know. I'm not particularly proud of that joke, but I couldn't resist. Like I said, the maturity level is not quite there yet.)

Author's Note:
If the name "Alona Frankel" sounds fake to you, that's because it probably is. According to unnamed sources at HarperFestival Publishing, Alona Frankel is actually the pseudonym for Ivana Tinkel, who is the wife of the world renowned cardiologist, Dr. Willy Poopsalot.

(Again, I apologize. I'm going to mature over the weekend. I swear.)



Unknown said...

come to think of it, it seems that a number of these picture books are reflections of the blogger's own neuroses. i think that is worth examining, and maybe a 12 page paper analyzing the various motivations, factors, and subconscious forces that contribute to the blogger's book selection process. The blogger's insecurities, past traumas, and unfulfilled dreams are revealed through his selection of titles like "Tall", "Once Upon a Potty", "Do You Want to Be My Friend?", "It's Okay to Be Different", and "Furry Legged Teapot", to name a few...this all leads me to believe that the blogger blogs not only as a form of entertainment, but as a step in the process of self-healing, therapy, and in the most dire of circumstances, a cry for help.

Let us not take for granted this exposure of raw pain, nor ignore our friend/brother/loved one's outreached hand, despite his obvious struggles with potty-training and furry legs. Amen.

Minh said...

Hmmm... very interesting interpretation... I wonder what you'll read into my next book selection: My Californian Friend is a Certifiable Jerkface and Other Amazing Stories of Hyper-Observant People That Get Themselves Into Hot Water.

Plus, I don't cry for help... unless I'm watching the Land Before Time.

Unknown said...

hey no need to get defensive! just because i could read between the lines and called you out on your business! that's what you call a REAL certifiable californian friend. in fact, you're welcome. and, remember, i'm here for you if you ever need a shoulder to cry on.

Minh said...

that's very nice of you. to offer. but would you also be there if I happened to need an ass to kick on?

That is the true measure of a friend.

Unknown said...

as long as you can also appreciate a swift kick to the nuts as a sign of my affection. and when i say swift, i mean swift. like a hummingbird's wings.

Aimee said...

what has happened since i left? aaack! PULEEZE find "the maturity level" before i get back!!! look in matisseÅūs cubby hole. it may be there.