Showing posts with label Aalphabetical: H. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Aalphabetical: H. Show all posts

31 August 2009

Horton Hears A Who (as 70's Thriller)


How psyched would you be if you pulled this slim paperback off the musty shelf of a used bookstore?

From the back cover:
This taut psychological thriller from bestselling author Theodor Geisel is the second installment of his acclaimed Horton series. As the book opens, we once again find Detective Horton waking from a weeklong bender. The sun is piercing, his head is pounding in his ears, and even the dust sounds like it's talking to him. As the day goes on, Horton realizes that he can't shake the voices in his head. Horton can't tell if he is psychic or psychotic, but he follows the voices and embarks upon a mind-bending journey. His feverish dedication leads him to social ridicule, lands him in jail, and threatens to leave his sanity in tatters.

"In the bizarre tradition that includes both Dashiell Hammett and Philip K. Dick, Giesel breaks new ground." -The New Yorker

"Destined to become a cult classic." -The San Francisco Chronicle

"Beware the Sour Kangaroo." -Rolling Stone

07 January 2008

Hippo! No, Rhino!



The Construction of Meaning and the Self De(con)struction of Identity: A Hippo-Critical Analysis of Jeff Newman's Hippo! No, Rhino!
Rosco P. Hargrove (Class of 2010)
English 421: Re-Introduction to Literary Criticism
Professor F. R. Zismer
Final Paper
Submitted on: December 22, 2007

Plot Summary

A mischievous zookeeper decides to have some fun and puts a sign that reads "Hippo" in front of the Rhino pen. This seemingly harmless bit of mischief wreaks havoc on the rhino's psyche as passersby continually refer to the rhino as "hippo". The rhino desperately tries to correct them, but to no avail. It isn't until a little boy comes along that things change. The child sees what's going on and changes the sign back to rhino. The book ends with the zookeeper continuing his mischievous ways by putting up a new sign that reads, "Porcupin-o".

Part I: Hippo! No, Rhino! Structuralism! No, Poststructuralism!

Newman's sparse use of language is deceptive. While he uses few words in his narrative, he manages to reveal deeper linguistic issues by drawing together some of the fundamental issues and conflicts in literary criticism.

As a starting point, the basic conflict in Hippo! No, Rhino! is clearly a re-creation of the tension between the structuralist and post-structuralist schools of thought. Newman's Hippo! No, Rhino! situation is an intriguing thought exercise which forces us to reconsider a fundamental question: Where does meaning come from?

Is it from the zookeeper (filling the archetypal role of trickster-god) who creates meaning by labeling the rhino as "hippo"? Or is his semantic subversion just a silly prank?

Is it the people reading the sign who give birth to meaning by creating the link between the sign ("hippo") to the signified (the rhino)? Or are they merely dimwitted automatons who will believe anything they read?

Is there even any meaning to begin with? Who are we (or the rhino) to say that "rhino" is the correct label? Isn't the polyphonic spree of letters and sounds that make up r-h-i-n-o ultimately as arbitrary as h-i-p-p-o?

Part II: Pedagogy of the Zoopressed

If we continue to peel away layers of this onion, we eventually find ourselves alone with the tear-jerkingly tragic figure of the "rhino".

(Note: Though it is awkward, I will refer to the rhino using the pronoun "it" because Newman's text does not indicate whether the rhino is male or female.)

(Full disclosure: Upon first reading, I subconsciously assumed that the rhino was a male, which tipped my hand as an unwitting co-conspirator in the phallocentricity embedded in our male-dominated society. I would like to assure you, professor, that based on last semester's readings on feminist theory and gynocritic analysis, I am sufficiently ashamed.)

Why is the rhino a tragic figure? Not only because it is helplessly tormented by the powerful zookeeper... that is but a minor offense. The true tragedy reveals itself with further examination of the sociolinguistic context of the rhino's self-identification.

The word "rhino," being of English (Anglo-Saxon) origin is obviously not the rhino's native tongue. Yet the rhino has come to identify itself as a "rhino," as evidenced by the psychological distress caused by the hippo sign. This self-identification through the language of his oppressor (and yes, he is oppressed... he is, after all, held captive and put on display) is one of major symptoms of oppression that is revealed by postcolonial theory.

The fact that the rhino clings so passionately and desperately to the name bestowed upon him by his captors, demonstrates the powerful role that language plays in perpetuating the inequalities of established social hierarchy. Not only does he accept his given name, he challenges anyone who dare disrupt the sanctity of his moniker. How can the rhino truly free itself from oppression if it lives, breathes, and thinks in the language of its oppressor?

This also sheds new light on the character of the child. As I mentioned in the plot summary, toward the end of the book a young child comes to the rescue, changing the hippo sign back to rhino.

Upon first reading, the child appears as a saviour figure who sympathetically changes the sign to ease the "rhino's" mind. The child's innocence allows him to see beyond the ridiculous sign and recognize the psychological harm being done to the rhino. And yet...

...and yet, perhaps it is not that simple. By reverting the sign (the linguistic tool of oppression), isn't the child merely reinforcing the domination of the status quo and strengthening the establishment's vice-like grip on society? The child may have acted to ease the rhino's mind but (despite the child's benelovent intentions), in actuality he played an active role in relegating the beast to an eternity of tranquil captivity. He did not rescue the rhino, he merely made his cage stronger.

Part III: Freedom Isn't Free or All Signs Point to "No"

Newman's stimulating text leaves the reader (at least this reader) with a final burning question... Who holds the key to the rhino's freedom?

The optimist's answer would be that the key to freedom lies with the rhino itself. Unfortunately, to quote Karl Marx, "Religion is the opium of the masses and optimism is the ecstasy tablet of the self-delusional." So no, the rhino does not hold the key to his own freedom.

The real answer is much simpler and much more sobering. The key to freedom lies with: the zookeeper. (Seriously, it's on the big key ring that's clipped to his belt buckle.)

This does not bode well for the rhino. At the end of the book, the zookeeper puts up a new sign next to the rhino that reads, "Porcupin-o". In doing so, this sadistic trickster god is assuring us that the rhino's nightmare is not over... and that no amount of lit crit is going to save him from an eternity in this semiotic purgatory. The helpless rhino (like the rest of us) is forever caught in that desolate place between meaning and just plain mean.

16 December 2007

Have You Seen My Cat?



Author/Illustrator: Eric Carle

A young boy loses his cat and travels the wide world to find it. Poor kid. If any of you have lost a pet, you know the kind of pain this little boy is going through... no fun at all.

Luckily, scientists in South Korea have been hard at work on this problem and last week, they finally made a breakthrough with... GLOW IN THE DARK KITTIES!!!



On Tuesday, a team of scientists from Gyeongsang National University announced that they successfully cloned cats that glow in the dark when passed under ultraviolet light. They caution that this does not completely solve the problem of missing pets, but the advance is significant and monumental.... significantly creepy and monumentally disturbing.

So, have I seen your cat?

Yes I have... and it is scaring the crap out of me.

16 November 2007

Book Ban



From: State Board of Education

Re: New Book Ban

Given the raging hugging epidemic that is threatening to overtake our schools (see Alabama, Illinois, and Virginia), the School Board has decided to take preemptive action to stem this tide of unsanctioned emotion.

In response to this disturbing trend, the school board has passed a Zero Tolerance Policy on Physical Contact. This policy includes, hugs, high fives, handshakes, and all other inappropriate forms of Public Display of Affection (PDAs).

In order to maintain the integrity of this new policy, the following books (see list below) are now banned from all school libraries, classrooms, and personal collections. The School Board has decided (through a unanimous vote) that these titles are no longer appropriate because they promote subversive behavior which may undermine the authority of school administrators.

This ban is effective immediately. A School Board representative will be conducting periodic site visits to ensure that these books are no longer present on school grounds. Schools that continue to carry these titles will be reprimanded immediately through a series of escalating sanctions and funding penalties.

Banned Book List

The following books are banned and are to be extricated from all school grounds immediately. This list, however, is a small sample and should not be considered complete. As a precaution, all books with the word "hug" in the title, or any books featuring any illustrations of hugging or hug-like behavior should be permanently removed or placed under lock and key in a state-approved vault until further notice.




Title: HUG
Author/Illustrator: Jez Alborough
Official Reason for Ban: Monkey See, Monkey Do.




Title: Hug Time
Author/Illustrator: Patrick McDonnell
Official Reason for Ban: No time is Hug Time when you're at school.




Title: A Hug Goes Around
Author: Laura Krauss Melmed
Illustrator: Betsy Lewin
Official Reason for Ban: The contagious nature of hugs is precisely the reason for the Zero Tolerance Policy.
Note: The school board is approaching Ms. Melmed and Ms. Lewin to propose that they revise A Hug Goes Around as a cautionary tale for children that will be used in schools to discourage this inappropriate behavior.


Please distribute this list to all faculty, parents, students, and other concerned citizens. We appreciate your cooperation in this matter and cannot stress enough how vital this is to the educational and social-emotional future of our children. Together, we can rid ourselves of this shocking behavior and minimize the disturbing displays of human emotion that are currently infecting our schools.

Sincerely,

State Board of Education

17 August 2007

How Are You Peeling?



Author: Saxton Freymann and Joost Elffers
Illustrator: Saxton Freymann

Jeffer's and Freyman's book
about vegetables and their feelings really opened the door to a whole world of emotional depth that we never imagined. While the book broke new ground, it was only a matter of time before vegetables took to writing for themselves. Why should they rely on humans to tell the world how they're peeling? It's time to get the information directly from the source!

Well, wait no longer. We have officially gotten word from the first vegetable author and apparently this particular eggplant is peeling particularly religious. A couple from Boothwyn, PA sliced open this eggplant to discover it's divine message.


The opinionated eggplant is now in discussions with various publishing companies who are eager to attain the right to publish the first book from this articulate vegetable. Apparently, Tyndale House Publishers, the publishing company behind the best-selling Christian adventure series, Left Behind, has the early edge.

And writing is just the tip of the iceberg. The eggplant will also be making the talk show rounds and can be seen next on Larry King Live. He will be the appearing with Christopher Hitchens (author of God Is Not Great) and the two will discuss the role of religion in the 21st Century. He will also be a guest judge on the Emmy-nominated Top Chef and is auditioning for a cameo appearance as one of the ingredients in the sequel to Ratatouille.

02 August 2007

How Humans Make Friends



Author/Illustrator: Loreen Leedy

An alien comes back from an anthropological research trip to report its findings to an audience of alien colleagues. The presentation takes place in Auditorium B5, otherwise known as Mystery Science Theater 3000. Unfortunately, the report "How Humans Make Friends" hardly qualifies as academically rigorous, as it is based mostly on anecdotal evidence. Nowhere in the study does the alien researcher mention some basic attributes of solid research such as valid sample sizes or accounting for construct irrelevant variance, and there isn't even the slightest hint of any attempt to gather longitudinal data.

Nevertheless, the report does shed some light on the bizarre behavioral patterns of human beings. And one can hardly blame the alien for its low academic standards. It was only visiting our planet for a short while. Even humans who study humans for their entire lives are unable to come up with much in the way of groundbreaking revelations.

Just yesterday, newspapers all over the country were reporting on two University of Texas professors who released a report detailing the motivations behind sexual activity.

From the Washington Post: "College-aged men and women agree on their top reasons for having sex: they were attracted to the person, they wanted to experience physical pleasure and "it feels good," according to a peer-reviewed study in the August edition of Archives of Sexual Behavior."

HOLY CRAP! STOP THE PRESSES!!!

(Disclaimer: The Archives of Sexual Behavior is housed in the Library of Shit We Already Knew.)












So college kids are having sex because "it feels good." Thank you Academia for clearing that up for us. Having blown the lid off of this whopper, Dr. David Buss and Dr. Cindy Meston will next unravel more of mankind's most persistent mysteries with three papers to be released in the upcoming months:

-People Eat Chocolate Because It Tastes Good: A Scientific Examination of the Yumminess Factor

-Hands: Good For Holding Things

-Puppies Are Cute: A Control Group Study Outside of Starbucks

Inter-rater Reliability Note: While Dr. Meston looks relatively credible (with a kinda scary, kinda intriguing dominatrix vibe), take a look at Dr. David Buss:

Now, he doesn't look like the kind of guy who would design a research project as an excuse to talk to nubile undergraduates and ask them detailed questions about their sex lives, does he?

Hey baby, why don't we go back to my place and finish this survey over a glass of chardonnay and some Baudelaire?

I'm not trying to start any rumors. I'm just saying... be wary of tainted data.

08 May 2007

The Harry-est Town in America Contest



Author: J.K. Rowling

Amazon.com is keeping tabs on which town pre-orders the most copies of the the last Harry Potter book: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. The winning town gets a whopping $5,000 gift certificate (to Amazon.com, of course) donated to a local non-profit organization. As of this morning, Virginia was dominating the competition with 3 out of the top 5 towns. Thus proving, once and for all, that VA is the dorkiest state in the union. Thomas Jefferson would be proud.

Considering that Amazon is going sell millions upon millions of copies of this book... $5,000 is a pretty paltry sum (a.k.a. crappy reward). Then again, cities usually get short changed in these kinds of cheesy promotional stunts. Other past examples of "best-selling book towns":

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
Berkeley, California (1975)
Reward: Actor Dennis Hopper agreed to serve as the honorary Director of the Parks & Recreation department for a 12 month appointment. (He made it 3 weeks before running off naked and screaming toward the deserts of New Mexico.)

Chicken Soup for the Christian Soul
Corpus Christi, Texas (1993)
Reward: Your choice of 1) Eternal Salvation or 2) a Big-Ass pickup truck and a case of beer.

The Notebook
Wimpy Creek, Oklahoma (1997)
Reward: Your choice of 1) a year's supply of Kleenex or 2) a punching bag with a picture of Nicholas Sparks on it.

The Origin of the Species
Topeka, Kansas (2004)
Reward: Free matches for the 73rd Annual Anti-Evolution Darwin Book Burn-a-thon.

How to Blow $50,000 in Just 9 Short Months!!!
Cambridge, Massachusetts (every damn year til the end of time)
Reward: A lifetime of crippling student loan debt.

Note: The link to the Harry-est Town in America page was courtesy of Alex "Mayor of Charm City" MacArthur. You may recognize him as Billy Crudup's stunt double in movies such as Big Fish and Almost Famous.

16 April 2007

Happy to be Nappy



Author: bell hooks
Illustrator: Chris Raschka

In wake of the fallout from his well-publicized faux pas, radio host Don Imus will attempt to regain his public credibility by joining other "misunderstood" celebrities on a book tour called Books not Bigots: Reading for Reconciliation. Each falling star will spend a month touring elementary schools across the nation reading books that celebrate diversity and preach tolerance. The tour will be coordinated by the Reverend Al Sharpton and the celebrity readers will be supervised by the Reverend Al Sharpton's hair.

Imus will kick off the tour by reading the story of positive self-image and acceptance: Happy to be Nappy. The book was written by bell hooks, the influential intellectual who is an outspoken critic of racism, classism, sexism, and the capitalism of letters. Despite Happy to be Nappy's uplifting message, the tour will not help Imus's image, as he repeatedly scares the bejeezus out of little children at each stop. Love him or leave him, he is one scary-looking dude (no offense to all the scary-looking dudes out there).

Here is the Books not Bigots upcoming schedule of featured authors:

April
Don Imus
Happy to be Nappy
Author: bell hooks
Illustrator: Chris Raschka

May
Joe "Foot in mouth" Biden
Do's and Don'ts
Author/Illustrator: Todd Parr

June

Rosie "Ching-chong, Ching-chong" O'Donnell
American Born Chinese
Author/Illustrator: Gene Luen Yang

July

Michael "$&@?@!!" Richards
The Color of Us
Author/Illustrator: Karen Katz

August
Tim "I hate gay people." Hardaway
We're Different, We're the Same
Author: Bobby Kates
Illustrator: Joe Mathieu

Future celebrities seeking redemption are yet to be announced... but trust us, there will be more. As long as there are people talking, there will be people saying stupid things and regretting it. Who's next? My money is on former U.N. Secretary Kofi Annan. It can't be healthy to be that calm for that long... if anyone is due to go off on an expletive laced rant, it's him.

(Just do it, Mr. Annan... it'll feel so good. We'll start you off easy. Complete this sentence: Looking at John Bolton's moustache made me want to ________. There, doesn't that feel better? Now try this one: Whenever I hear President ________ speak, I want to ________ his condescending ________ and then slap that ________-eating grin off his ________ face.)

09 April 2007

Hop on Pop



Author/Illustrator: Dr. Seuss

Many point to Bruno Bettelheim's award winning book, The Uses of Enchantment: The Meaning and Importance of Fairy Tales, as the moment that Freudian psychoanalysis officially came in contact with the realm of children's literature. While it is true that Bettleheim may have been one of the first academics to tackle the subject, it was the seminal work of Theodore Geisel (Dr. Seuss) that introduced children to Freud for the first time. Case in point: his playful exploration of the Oedipal complex: Hop on Pop.

Hop on Pop was published in 1963, a full 13 years before Bettelheim's Enchantment, and decades before Freud was widely dismissed by the psychological community as a coked-up sex fiend. Pop can be read as a thinly veiled introduction to the disturbing psychosexual theory that the father is the enemy who is preventing us from realizing some deeply ingrained sexual need for our mothers. Gross! Luckily, Seuss didn't get too caught up in the raging Sigmundsteria of the times, otherwise he may have been tempted to go all-out Oedipal and written his book as Hop on Pop then Marry Mommy, which probably would have tarnished his otherwise untouchable legacy.

Upon closer inspection, Freud and other psychological influences can be found sprinkled throughout Seuss's work. The Cat in the Hat is nothing more than a hyperkinetic romp through the subconscious with the Id, Ego, and Superego. The entire plot of Green Eggs and Ham is driven by Freud's theories of the repression and sublimation of base impulses. (What else could "Sam I Am" be, other than an anal-retentive individual's guilt-ridden projection of the repressed self and its latent desires?) And Horton Hears a Who? Horton hears a psychiatrist diagnosing him with schizophrenia, that's who he hears. In fact, if you read too closely, Seussville runs the risk of becoming an inescapable labyrinth of Freudian slips and slides... so maybe we're better off reading with eyes wide shut.

14 February 2007

House Mouse, Senate Mouse



Authors/Illustrators: Peter W. Barnes and Cheryl Shaw Barnes

A watered down trip through the halls of an alternate universe Mouse Congress, this journey begins in an elementary classroom in Mousseouri (be prepared to be force-fed mouse puns). As a project, the class writes a letter to their Congressmouse (I warned you) saying that they think that the Congress should name a National Cheese. Obviously, this letter quickly finds itself in the very hands of the Squeaker of the House. (I'll understand if you stop reading now, no hard feelings.) After alerting his partner on the Senate side, they bring this issue to Congress and after some spirited debate, decide to name American Cheese as the country's official cheese. (Oh Say Can You Cheese! By the dawn's early... slice?)

Unfortunately, if this were a true story, the letter would arrive in the Congressmouse's office and read by a fresh-out-of-college Legislative Correspondent. If there were enough similar letters from constituents (fine, constitumice), only then would the issue would be brought to the attention of the house member. Even if it did manage to gain enough political traction, the entire congress would spend weeks quibbling over the wording of the proposal before eventually settling on a non-binding resolution in support of legislation to name the national cheese. At which the president would scoff and do what he wanted anyway... send more Mouseketeers into combat. (sigh.)