27 August 2007

Guess How Much I Love You



Author: Sam McBratney
Illustrator: Anita Jeram

This classic is one of those quietly perfect books, a true masterpiece where the tone, pacing, and illustrations hit the right note each time. In it, Little Nutbrown Hare and Big Nutbrown Hare go back and forth telling the other one how much they love eachother, playfully trying to outdo the other.

Little Nutbrown Hare uses his arms, legs, toes, and whatever else he has at his disposal (i.e. "I love you as high as I can reach,"). It is the nature of love that we use whatever we can find to demonstrate it. For those of us who are artistically inclined, it may come in the form of a painting or a drawing. Or if you fancy yourself a writer, then maybe you'd write a beautiful love poem.

Or if you happen to be one of the greatest rock guitarists to ever live, I guess you'd write an immortal song. Check out this unbelievable story I read in The Week:

Pattie Boyd (left) inspired two rock 'n' roll legends to create their most beautiful music. In 1969, her husband, George Harrison, wrote his biggest hit, "Something," for her. A year later, their good friend Eric Clapton drew her aside. "He played me the most powerful, moving song I had ever heard," Boyd tells the London Daily Mail, "It was 'Layla,' about a man who fall hopelessly in love with a woman who loves him but is unavailable. He played it to me two or three times, all the while watching my face intently for my reaction. My first thought was, 'Oh God, everyone's going to know this is about me.'"

Boyd had rebuffed Clapton, but he kept trying, and told Harrison, "Man, I'm in love with your wife." One night, Clapton arrived at Harrison's house drunk, and the two men decided to fight over Boyd--with music. "George handed him a guitar and an amp, as an 18th-century gentleman might have handed his rival a sword, and for two hours, without a word, they dueled. The air was electric and the music exciting."

Wow. Can someone PLEASE build a time machine now? If only to go back and record that epic guitar duel between the two drunken masters and post it on YouTube for the rest of us to see, it would be worth it.

Oh and how does the story end? Well... you know that lyric from Something that goes:

Somewhere in her smile she knows
That I don't need no other lover

Apparently her smile doesn't know shit, because "A year later, Boyd left Harrison when she realized he was sleeping with Ringo Starr's wife. She wound up in Clapton's arms."

At first I was going to accuse Harrison of lyrical misrepresentation, but then I realized that he didn't actually lie. Check the lyric again: I don't need no other lover... I'll be damned! That cunning linguist tricked us all with a double negative! (If he doesn't need no other lover... that means that he does need an other lover... right?)

Moral of the story: It's time to stop guessing how much they love you and time to go back and check all your old love letters for grammatical loopholes before you find yourself in for some hard day's nights.

13 comments:

TadMack said...

"It's time to stop guessing how much they love you and time to go back and check all your old love letters for grammatical loopholes..."

This from the man who told me there is no Santa Claus. Now there's no Cupid, either!?!?!?

Minh Le said...

It's not that Cupid doesn't exist... it's just that he's now a marketing consultant for Viagra.

So it goes.

Alkelda the Gleeful said...

A little bit of trivia: if you're looking out for her, you can spot Boyd in at least two scenes in "A Hard Day's Night"-- she's in the train car where Paul McCartney goes over to talk to girls, and also in the scene where the Fab 4 are fleeing (she's pressed up against a train wall). Quite the cutie, that Pattie Boyd.

Anonymous said...

Personally, as a parent I have always hated "Guess how much I love you." Little Nutbrown Hare is trying to say something important to Big Nutbrown Hare and BNH just keeps on one-upping him instead of just saying "Wow, it's great to know you love me so much. I love you too." BNH is just a macho Big Nutbrown Jerk!

Liz said...

I agree this one goes in the category of Runaway Bunny and Love You Forever in my book. I will crush your independence with my ego.

vi said...

This looks like a job for (bum bum BUM!) Lynn Truss of Eats Shoots and Leaves fame. She will set the world straight.

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