01 April 2008

The Times They Are A-Changin'

The American Heart Association just released a report saying that mouth-to-mouth is no longer necessary when performing CPR. They are hoping that this will make it easier for people to jump in and save someone's life... but what they failed to take into account was that they are doing irreperable damage to the lifeguarding industry. Not only have they have taken some of the shine off of the Baywatch franchise... but they have squashed the hopes and dreams of kids like the heroic Michael "Squints" Palledorous.



"What he'd done was sneaky, rotten, and low... and cool." But no longer possible. This is truly a sad day. Hopefully, it is just the American Heart Association's idea of a funny April Fool's Day joke... and tomorrow we can all go back to saving each other by making out.

3 comments:

Alkelda the Gleeful said...

It's amazing that the lifeguard didn't notice that Michael "Squints" Palledorus was able to hang onto his glasses even when he was supposed to be out cold. That, plus the fact that she didn't notice he was actually breathing when she gave him mouth to mouth makes me question as to whether or not she actually had CPR training. Like the American Heart Association, I have no sense of humor.

Anonymous said...

Palledorus bears an uncanny resemblance to Miranda's boyfriend, Steve the bartender, from Sex and the City.

The Sandlot is kind of like Sex and the City for pre-teen boys. But I definitely prefer The Sandlot -- it's less racist and the boys aren't as spoiled as Carrie and her posse.

Chau Dang said...

o sandlot...lol