31 December 2007

Bottom Shelf Resolutions

As the New Year approaches, everyone gets the urge to start off on the right foot by making some kind of dramatic change in their lives... that's right, it's New Year's Resolution Time! It's the time of year when you get to make overly ambitious promises to yourself... promises that will mean absolutely nothing in about 2 weeks. To get the ball rolling, we at the Bottom Shelf caught up with a number of children's literature characters to see how this coming year was going to be different for them.

So, what is your New Year's Resolution?

The Giving Tree:

"...to not let that little boy walk all over me anymore. I'm going to take some time for myself, maybe join a yoga class or take a trip to visit family in the Shenandoahs. Look for someone else to push around, little kid... this year I'm taking care of me!"

Freight Train:

"...to reduce my carbon footprint by converting my engine so that it can utilize alternative energy sources."

Carl (Good Dog Carl):

"...to finally get certified as an Early Child Care Provider."

Mother Rabbit (Runaway Bunny):

"...to let my precious darling baby play at his friend's house without checking up on him every five minutes. I can't help it, I just love him so!"

Alexander (Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day):

...to be more optimistic. Or, failing that, to put my money where my mouth is and move to Australia."

Strega Nona:

"...to cut down on carbs. My doctor says the all-pasta diet is bad for my long term health."

The Lorax:

"...to reestablish the integrity of the EPA, hopefully with the help of a Democratic president."

Five Chinese Brothers:

"...to finish writing our book, We Do Not All Look Alike! Popular (Mis)Representations of Asian Culture in World Literature."

Saggy Baggy Elephant:

"...to change my name to the Beautiful Just the Way I Am Elephant... and to stop watching Nip/Tuck on FX."


"...to stay strong and continue refusing Ritalin."

Sal (Blueberries for Sal):

"...to stop pooping blue. Ohhhh.... my tummy...."

Ms. Nelson (Miss Nelson is Missing):

"...to finally take that graduate course in Classroom Management so I don't have to resort to trickery and scare tactics with my students."

We'll check back in with everyone in a couple months to see how they're doing with their resolutions... until then, HAPPY NEW YEAR! See you in 2008!


Kelly said...

Hope you're not hoping too much from these resolutions! Still, they made me laugh. Happy New Year to you!!

jama said...

Brilliant! Love these. Happy New Year!!

Minh said...

Happy New Year to you too! See you on the other side!

vi said...

The pooping blue might be a tough one to give up.

My resolution is to live life ishfully, a la Peter Reynolds in Ish

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Saints and Spinners said...

I think Strega Nona is okay eating all that pasta as long as she continues to drink a glass of red wine after dinner each night. I've been to Rome, and there are so many gorgeous, fit women there-- and they eat pasta. Yes, pasta! It's inspiring that it could actually be possible.

Mother Rabbit is going to be in for such a shock when her Little Bunny grows up and starts reproducing more and more little bunnies. It'll happen. You wait and see.

Minh said...

Maybe DePaola can hook Strega Nona up with a bottomless decanter to go with her magic pot?

And sis, your ishful christmas present is in the mail... it should arrive sometime mid july-ish.

MotherReader said...

I wish my resolutions were so clear cut. Thanks for the laugh.